Pronouns. Everyone uses them. Whether you use she, he, they, ze, or even it, you still use them on a daily basis. However, there are… certain… people that don’t respect people’s pronouns as they should. Generally, this applies to the trans* community. It doesn’t matter if it’s parents, teachers, or friends; they should still respect your pronouns. This is to discuss why.
First, let’s talk about why someone that’s trans changes their pronouns (even though it’s kinda obvious.) When someone changes their pronouns, it’s usually when they start their transition from their gender assigned to them at birth to the gender they identify as. To understand the point of changing pronouns, we need to understand the point of transitioning. Transitioning is most likely done due to gender dysphoria, which is caused by your physical body and gender identity not lining up. Although it may seem that simple, social matters also tie into dysphoria. Now, back to pronouns. When somebody uses pronouns that don’t line up with your gender identity, it can (but may not) cause a feeling of dysphoria. This is why it’s important to respect pronouns. Dysphoria can cause many negative actions, such as self-harm, depression, or even suicide. Lesson: ALWAYS respect pronouns. You never know what’ll happen if you don’t.
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So if you know me, you're probably wondering why I'm writing about me coming out. "Erin's the most gay person I know! Why would they need to write about their coming out?" Well, I'm not actually out to any family members. However, I did come out when I was identifying as bisexual. Let's begin!
It was a Tuesday evening at my grandma's house, and we (My Step-Dad, Mom, Grandma, Cousin, and Uncle) were playing a game of Skip-Bo at the kitchen table. I had been trying to build up courage to come out for weeks, and I finally got tired of the stress. During our conversation, I just quietly said "also, I'm bi." Then, for a split second, everything around me froze. I felt this terrible feeling overcome my body. It felt dreadful, but really hot at the same time. I couldn't breathe, and I felt extremely healthy. I began shaking, and I started to tear up. Then I started to calm down, like everything suddenly just washed away. That moment, however, felt like it lasted for an eternity. I'm pretty sure that was my first anxiety attack, with more following in the future, but that's something to discuss in another post. When I said I was bi, my grandma didn't understand what I meant (and probably still doesn't.) Everyone else just said things like "okay" or "cool." Honestly it wasn't the reaction I was expecting, but I'm glad that I didn't get the negative reaction that I was expecting. Although it was (literally) the most horrifying moment of my life, it's something that any LGBTQ+ person will go through (unless they decide not to.) I know that I made coming out sound scary, but that's because it is. However, I don't want this to turn anyone off from coming out. Everyone's experiences are different, so this might not be the same for you. I just wanted to let you know what my personal experience was and what you might experience if you're like me and have anxiety. |
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