Hey! I just started a new LGBTQ+ Forum! If you're interested, head over to https://echonotgecko.wixsite.com/gaycurious to check it out!
Thanks! (Also the way the text automatically formats when you write a blog post on here is really weird)
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Hello! I'm currently working on my end-of-year exam in English; an essay! My essay is about the struggles that the LGBTQ+ youth go through daily. I'm just gonna share some of the info that I've found:
78% to 86% of LGBTQ+ students experience verbal harassment, 25% of LGBTQ+ students have been attacked, 1/3 of trans students have been verbally harassed by staff, and 5% of trans students have been physically assaulted by staff. If an LGBTQ+ student's family isn't supportive, they're 8 times more likely to commit suicide and they're 6 times more likely to suffer depression and anxiety. Families that aren't supportive are the number one cause of LGBTQ+ homelessness. 20% to 40% of homeless youth are LGBTQ+, and many suffer from PTSD, depression, and Anxiety. 62% of homeless LGBTQ+ youth have attempted suicide. When LGBTQ+ students were asked what the most important problems to them were, the top three were non-accepting families (26%,) School/Bullying Issues (21%,) and fear of being out or open (18%.) 1/3 of all LGBTQ+ youth feel that they have no adults to talk to about their problems. 1/3 of LGBTQ+ youth say their families are not accepting, and 42% say their communities are not accepting. 92% of all LGBTQ+ youth say they hear negative comments about being LGBTQ+. Sources: https://www.americanprogress.org/issues/lgbt/news/2013/05/29/64583/3-barriers-that-stand-between-lgbt-youth-and-healthier-futures/ thinkprogress.org/new-report-highlights-unique-struggles-faced-by-lgbt-youth-450410c5f2ac/ I'm writin' a short story! I've finished parts one and two, so I figured why not share it on here as a preview? Part 1
“Ashlynne! Get up! Your gonna be late for school!” “Oh god. Just hearing that name makes me want to get out of bed even less,” Ash thinks as they lazily slip out of bed. They go through their morning routine, getting dressed and brushing their teeth. As Ash walks down the stairs, their dad turns toward them. “You’re wearing ‘that’ on the first day of school? You look like a boy! You could probably pass as one if you cut your hair.” their dad said, then turning back to the television.Ash silently slips by the kitchen, grabbing the black bookbag and exiting the house through the side door. They begin walking down the sidewalk, ignoring the unapproving looks from the elderly neighbors. “Hey, Ash!” shouted a familiar voice. Ash turns to see their friend Emery running in the same direction. “So, how’d it go?” Emery excitedly asks. “I… kinda… didn’t say anything…” Ash quietly replies. “Oh, okay,” Emery replies, now calming down. “So when are you going to tell them? Are you still nervous? I told my family, and they were perfectly fine with it!” exclaimed Emery, trying to lighten the mood “Listen, your parents aren’t right-wing extremists like mine. Your parents are rad. My parents… mine are just lame.” Ash says, kicking a rock off of the sidewalk and into the road. “I’m not trying to pressure you into telling them or anything, I’m just telling you that you need a plan. Being gay or trans is one thing, but being genderqueer is a whole other animal,” Emery quietly says, the cheerfulness slowly leaving their voice. Ash drops their bag and falls to their knees, beginning to cry. Small tears slowly hit the sidewalk, each showing a small reflection of the pain that Ash was feeling. Ash collects themself, picks up their bag, and stands up. “You gonna be okay?” Emery asks as they help Ash off of the ground. “Yeah,” Ash says as they continue walking to school. Part 2 After a day of being bullied and misgendered, Ash and Emery leave the school and head home. “So how was it?” Emery asked, looking over at Ash. “It was okay. Some people were okay with calling me Ash, but there were some teachers that insisted on calling me by my birth name. Oh, and don’t even get me started on pronouns!” Ash says, rolling their eyes. As they arrive at Ash’s house, Emery quickly says goodbye and continues walking home. Ash opens the front door, only to find their dad on the phone, almost as if he was waiting for them to return. “Ashlynne, why are people at school calling you ‘Ash?’” He says as he hangs up the phone. “It’s just a stupid nickname that just kinda stuck with me, that’s all…” Ash says as they look down at the floor. “Well, it needs to stop. We didn’t name you Ash, we named you Ashlynne. Ash is a boy’s name. Last time I checked you were our daughter, and that’s how it is,” he sternly said as he turned and walked toward the stairs. Ash, on the verge of tears, looks over at their mom in the living room. Ash and their mom make eye contact, and it was too much. They both began to cry silently, internally. Ash’s mom had always suspected something with Ash, and she knew that what their father said had hurt them. She walked over to Ash, kissed them on the forehead, and went up the stairs. “That sounds rough, I hope things get better for you at home,” Emery says as they walk to school with Ash the next day. “Thanks. I have this weird feeling, though…” Ash said, unintentionally making a slightly puzzled expression. “A weird feeling? About what?” Emery asked, completely lost. “I don’t know… it’s about my mom. I uh… I feel like she might know… about me,” Ash says nervously. “Maybe you’re just paranoid? You’ve been stressin’ pretty hard about this stuff recently,” Emery said, once again trying to lift the mood of the conversation. The rest of the walk to school was painfully silent. When they enter the school building, Ash and Emery notice a new poster on the “Club Bulletin.” They begin reading it, and their expressions brighten. “They’re forming a Gay-Straight Alliance? This is awesome! I’ve always wanted to be in a GSA!” Ash shouted, pointing at the poster covered in rainbows and pride flags. “Now you show your true colors,” Emery jokingly said. Ash hadn’t shown this much energy in public since they were in elementary school. Ash quickly looked around at the other students and instantly went quiet. Ash quickly wrote the club’s details in a notebook and then rushed to class to avoid being late. Emery sighs and walks to class. “Did you talk to the president of the GSA?” Emery asked Ash as they walk home. “Yeah, the first meeting is tomorrow. You don’t have to register in advance, so you can come with me if you want,” Ash said in a cheerful tone. “That’d be rad,” Emery replies as they continue walking. If you're Trans FtM, MtF, MtG, FtG, or any other transgender identity, then you may consider changing your name. Personally, my birth name causes dysphoria, as it is a very masculine name. When picking your name, there are a few factors that you should take into account.
First, if you're FtM or MtF transgender, you could ask your parents what they would have named you if you were born as the opposite sex. If you identify as a non-binary gender, then this might not help. However, if you're trans and identify as a binary gender, then this could give you a good idea of what your name could be. Second, If you're non-binary, try picking a gender neutral name. Depending on where you live, some names may not be considered gender neutral, even though they may be in other cultures. If you want to pass as male or female, however, do not choose a gender neutral name. It could lead to people questioning your gender. Third, you could look at baby naming websites. This can help you get an idea of what names to consider. It may not help much, but it's there and it could help a bit. You could also consider your background culture and heritage, if you would like to honor your cultural background. Try out the names. Say the names out loud to see how they flow through sentences, and consider any possible nicknames There are a lot of people out there that believe some of the many misconceptions that exist for people that identify as Non-Binary. I'm going to go over some of these myths.
1. "Being Non-Binary Is Just To Be Political!" Do people go around saying that being male or female is political? No. So why say that identifying as a non-binary is a political stance? People that identify as non-binary aren't constantly trying to "go against the norm," we're just trying to live as who we really are. 2. "Non-Binary People Don't Experience Transgender Oppression" This one is just ridiculous, and flat out wrong. Surveys have proven that non-binary identifying people experience more harassment and assault than binary transgender people. If anyone says this, they have no idea what they're talking about. 3. "You're Just Following the Trends, Or It's Just a Fad" Many people believe that because of the growing awareness of the non-binary community, people think that it's just a bunch of people looking for attention. For a non-binary person, "choosing" to be male or female isn't an option. 4. "You're a New Concept" A lot of people in the U.S. today think that if they've never head of it, then it's a new concept. However, many societies have recognized non-binary people, and being non-binary has existed for all of human history. 5. "You're Confused About Your Gender" If somebody says this, than they're most likely just confused themselves. Non-binary people aren't confused, they're just not male or female. It's okay to be confused. However, it's not okay to invalidate how someone else identifies because you don't understand their gender identity. Androgyne, Adrogyny, or Androgynous gender is often seen as a blend of male and female, or a blend of masculine attributes and feminine attributes. It can also be seen as somewhere in between. However, you've probably heard me use the term "androgynous" if you've ever read any of my work. The definitions above might not fit into where I put it, and that's because I don't really use the term to describe my gender identity itself; but rather, to describe a person's appearance as neither masculine or feminine (or a combination of both.) I figured that this might clear up any confusion on my previous posts.
I know I've already written about gender fluidity, but this is going to be a bit different. I've been talking to a friend online that also happens to be gender fluid, and they've explained to me how they go about identifying in this way.
"Well, I feel like there are a few big misconceptions with genderfluidity. First off, my pronouns /change/, from day to day. On Monday I’m female, 'she', on Tuesday I might be male, 'he', on Wednesday, I’m agendered, 'them'. I’ll switch around my pronouns, just like I change my gender. Though, if you can’t tell what gender I am on a day, I’d like to be called “them”. One issue for me, personally, is 'coming out' to my friends and family. I worry that they won’t believe it’s a real gender, or they wont use my pronouns for that day. Another issue I can see is the idea of your gender on a given day being reflected as that genders stereotypical representation. Aka, I might be female but I will want to be masculine on that day. I may become male at a point but want to dress feminine. I represent myself as masculine most of the time, but that doesn’t mean I’m always feeling male. The idea that genderfluid people have no dysphoria is complete bull crap. On my female days, I want to appear very female, which is easy enough. But, on my male days? I’m FtG(female to genderfluid), and I have a very womanly body shape, unluckily. I don’t just suck it up and say 'today will be a girl day, instead.' I can’t, that’s now how it works. Some days I /feel/ like a different gender, just like how trans people feel like the opposite(of the binary) gender. If I’m feeling male, I will feel dysphoria like any FtM would feel. I also see issues with people saying there isn’t more than three genders(female, male, and non-binary) or even that there’s only two genders. I think another misconception is that to be genderfluid you have to switch between /all/ genders, not just a few. Genderfluid can mean many things, like with ME, I change from female(my at birth gender), male, agendered, demiboy, demigirl, and bigendered. Though, you can be gendefluid and /only/ switch from male to female at different times. That’s my main plan, though if I’m looking expressly male(bound chest, guy clothes, looking masculine) I’d prefer to be called male, if I’m clearly female on day(makeup, dress, heels or flats) I’d like to be called she. Though, I’d never be angry or upset at being called they/them, since that is the most appropriate set of pronouns to fit me at any given moment. Though, with close friends, I’ll sometimes say like, 'I’m having a male day' or I’ll say 'I’m goin’ with ‘she’ today. Also, genderfluid may differ from person to person, so just remember I’m only /one/ of the many genderfluid folks out there! ^w^" - Dani (@FloofyBrightBab) So, I feel a bit differently about my appearance and dysphoria as gender fluid (I've written about my dysphoria here!) I would really like to look androgynous, as stated in previous posts, but I'm MtG. I would like to look less masculine, and sometimes trying to identify as something other than male when you look like me will get you weird reactions. I usually fluctuate between Male, Demiboy, Agender, and Bigender. My gender is mostly demiboy, but (obviously) it varies. I think that people need to realize that being gender fluid is real, and that not every gender fluid person feels the same way. Thanks for reading, and thanks to Dani for talking about this with me! Agender is also called genderblank[2], genderfree, genderless, gendervoid[3], non-gendered, or null gender[4]. Agender is an identity under the nonbinary and transgender umbrella terms. Agender individuals find that they have no gender identity, although some define this more as having a gender identity that is neutral.
There is little agreement about the difference between terms such as agender, genderless, non-gender, gender neutral, and neutrois. These terms are often used interchangeably, or defined differently by individual writers in ways that don't necessarily match the self-definitions of others using those terms. It is often said that non-gender or genderlessness is the experience of having no gender identity at all, whereas gender neutral or neutrois is the experience of having a gender identity, a gender identity which is not male or female, but neutral. However, these statements don't match the experiences of everyone who has taken up these identities as their own. This is a problem of a difference between word definitions that are prescriptivist (telling everyone how they should use a word, and saying that many people use it wrong) and descriptivist (describing how people have actually been using a word, without telling them to change). It can be difficult to describe and name a gender identity that involves a lack of inner gender identity. In order to do so, some people see the need to make new names for that gender identity, or to distinguish between different but similar genderless identities. A list of these names, in alphabetical order: anongender. "A gender that is unknown to you and others".[8] apogender. Coined by queerspike. "Greek prefix apo, meaning away from, separate, at the farthest point; a subset of agender in which you feel not only genderless but entirely removed from the concept of gender."[9] agenderfluid. Coined by pleurocarpus. Basically agender, but also genderfluid. Synonym cancegender.[10] agenderflux. Coined by perfectlybrokenbones. "Where you identify as agender but have fluctuations where you feel feminine or masculine but not male or female. ".[11] cancegender. coined by prideful-concerto. "An individual is agender as their “base” gender but experiences fluid/fluxing gender feelings in tandem with their emotions. These gender feelings may confuse or upset the individual and cause their emotional state to go haywire, which causes more gender changes."[12] Synonym agenderfluid. genderblank. As described by Damloz: Having no gender.[13] Also, as described by anonymous: "a gender so indescribable that the only thought one gets when trying to describe it is a blank space"[14] gendernull. As described by Baaphomett, "A gender like gendervoid but without the void."[15] gendervoid. As described by Baaphomett, "A gender consisting of the void (also/originally used to mean the same thing as genderless)."[16] librafluid. Coined by otterlyradical and pride-flags-for-us. "Mostly agender, but has a strong connection that fluctuates between masculinity and femininity."[17] null gender. Coined by dieselwolfe. "Undefinable, intangible, the uncreation of gender. Its taking everything everyone throws at you, saying male, female, pick one, pick this, pick that, and taking it in, only to expel it, poisonous crystals erupting from your skin, armor against those who don’t listen. A 'I don’t want a label because labels don’t fit but they help shut people up sometimes, so here have a label' gender label. A fall-back plan, a red herring to give people who can’t conceptualize the absence, void, nullification of gender. It is, and is not. All and none. Nonexistant but present."[18] oneirogender. Coined by anonymous. "Being agender, but having recurring fantasies or dreams of being a certain gender without the actual dysphoria or desire to actually be that gender day-to-day. e.g. oneiroboy, oneirogirl, oneirononbinary, etc."[19] Read in more detail here: https://nonbinary.miraheze.org/wiki/Agender (I'm too busy to actually write something right now) I'm gender fluid. This means that my gender identity fluctuates and changes. Some days I feel masculine, some days I feel more feminine. Some days, I just feel androgynous or agender. Here's the thing, though; a lot of people don't know what gender fluidity is.
Gender fluidity is a gender identity where your gender can vary from moment to moment. People that identify as Gender Fluid fall under the genderqueer, non-binary and transgender umbrella terms. However, being gender fluid can cause one to encounter problems that M2F or F2M transgender people don't. One thing that they encounter is people that have never heard of gender fluid, or even non-binary. This may cause people to think that they're just attention-seeking or trying to follow a "trend." This means that they just need to learn about it. You could try educating them, or just let them know that this is who you are and they can believe what they want to believe. You should never get overly-defensive, unless they're causing problems. Some Gender Fluid people experience dysphoria, as myself. This can be caused by looking overly masculine or feminine, while you feel like you should look more like the other. It can also be caused by not looking androgynous, even though you feel you should (This specifically is what causes my dysphoria.) The best thing to do is to just let them dress how they want, grow/cut their hair how they want, and let them wear whatever accessories or cosmetics they want. Demigender is an umbrella term for nonbinary gender identities that have a partial connection to a certain gender. This includes the partly female identity demigirl, and the partly male identity demiboy. There are other partial genders using the "demi-" prefix for the same reasons. For example, deminonbinary, demifluid, demiflux, and so on. Like non-binary, demigender is also an identity within itself, for people who feel connection to the concept of gender rather than certain genders. Being a demigender "is not dependent on how much (as in percentage) someone identities as one gender; it solely depends on if a person identifies as partially. For some, they may identify with two or more genders while others may not."[1]
( https://nonbinary.miraheze.org/wiki/Demigender ) I've been struggling with dysphoria.
Let me explain: I'm Non-Binary, and I really feel like I should look androgynous. I'm biologically male, and I'm almost 16. So I'm at that point where I'm looking more masculine than feminine. This REALLY bothers me, because on the days that I feel more feminine, I have to look at myself in the mirror and ask why I'm like this. I don't know what to do about it, and my parents and other family members don't even know that I'm not cisgender. It really hurts me to be hiding this, and the dysphoria is making it worse. I just don't have the courage to come out as Non-Binary, and it sucks. This was kinda short, but I needed to get this off of my chest... If you're curious about me at all, you've probably read the "details" tab at the bottom of the blog posts. However, that really doesn't give you much detail on who I am. Let's get sexuality and gender out of the way; I'm a demiboy + genderfluid, and I'm pansexual! There ya go! Here, have some flags: GenderfluidDemiboyPansexual I'm also a highschool sophomore in Ohio. It kinda stinks since most of the people in our area are conservative christians, but I live with it. (Can you tell I'm running out of things to write about?)
Thanks! You might be wondering why I'm now going by "Echo" instead of "Ben." Well, this is because I feel that the name "Ben" doesn't really fit me. It doesn't match my personality, and it definitely doesn't match my gender identity. I identify as Demiboy + Genderfluid, and I felt that the name "Ben" or "Benjamin" was just too masculine to match how I feel about myself. I'm also going by they/them/their pronouns for the same reasons; I just felt uncomfortable with my old name/pronouns.
I know it's kinda short, but I just wanted to let you all know about this! Thanks for reading! You might be confused on what I mean. You're probably thinking, "well, isn't that the same thing?" Well, yes and no. Here, let me explain.
Trans* is an umbrella term for anyone that doesn't identify with the gender that they were assigned with at birth, including non-binary genders. "But isn't that what 'Trans' is?" Kind of. Trans can mean the same thing, but is also specifically used as someone who is Transgender Male to Female or Transgender Female To Male. However, many people that are non-binary find Trans* to be offensive, so you should probably just stick to using Trans. So you've come out to your friends? Congratulations! Feel proud! Coming out takes a lot of courage and strength! However, some friends might not be very accepting and they might call you things like "weird" and "freak" or even vulgar words such as "f**" or "queer."
In my opinion, they shouldn't be your friend if they're not going to accept you for who they are. However, don't get ahead of yourself. Before you do anything else, you should try to educate them on your sexuality and/or gender. If you've tried before, then you could explain to them that if they won't accept you, then you can't be friends and that you're ending the friendship. Just remember not to put yourself in a dangerous situation and make sure there is someone there to support you. Feel free to discuss down below in the comments, I'd love to hear your opinions and what you would do in this situation! Before I start I just want to say that you need to consider your safety before coming out. Don't put yourself in any kind of potentially harmful situation!
Coming Out. The best, most fun, least stressful part of being LGBTQ+ (sarcasm intensifies.) I've been wanting to write about this topic, especially since I'm struggling with the decision to come out to my dad or not. However, this isn't about me! So, Many parents will go through phases such as shock, guilt, denial, and personal decision-making. This is all normal, so don't worry about it. if they react in these ways, just give them time. However, all families are different and everyone will react differently. When you come out, make sure you have somewhere to go or have someone to support you. You also want to make sure that you tell them when the time is right (make sure things are going well for your family before coming out.) You also need to be patient with parents, as some will need time to become accepting and they may need more time to educate themselves on the subject. You should also never come out during an argument, using your gender/sexuality as a weapon against them. You also want to make sure that they can educate themselves. A book or a counselor's number could help. JUST DON'T FEEL PRESSURED TO COME OUT. You don't have to! Some people never come out! Some parents will feel a sense of loss, feeling that they've lost their trust and overall relationship with their children. Give them time, as this is usually temporary. Reassure them that nothing about you has changed; you're the same person as the day before and the year before. You also need to assure them that this is who you are, and who you always have been. Tell them it's not their fault, and help them work through it. SOURCE: https://prideresourcecenter.colostate.edu/resources/coming-out-to-your-parents/ WHAT?! I know! Many people believe that the Bible is anti-LGBTQ+, but it really isn't! Some of this false belief is caused by inaccurate translations, cultural differences, and just plain nullification by the New Testament!
You're probably thinking, "Well then, super-smart genius, prove it!" In the story of Sodom and Gomorrah in Genesis 19, God sends two angels from heaven into the city. A few men try to forcefully gang-rape the two that God had sent. God then destroys the whole town due to their actions. Many people us this as proof that God is anti-gay, but they're missing the point entirely! In Ezekiel 16:49, the story of Sodom and Gomorrah is brought up. "Now this was the sin of your sister, Sodom. She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed, and unconcerned, and they did not help the poor or needy." So basically, if someone uses this as evidence that homosexuality is bad, they're missing the point of these verses entirely. *Stay up to date for part 2! SOURCE: http://www.upworthy.com/there-are-6-scriptures-about-homosexuality-in-the-bible-heres-what-they-really-say advocate – 1 noun : a person who actively works to end intolerance, educate others, and support social equity for a marginalized group. 2 verb to actively support/plea in favor of a particular cause, the action of working to end intolerance, educate others, etc.
agender – adj. : a person with no (or very little) connection to the traditional system of gender, no personal alignment with the concepts of either man or woman, and/or someone who sees themselves as existing without gender. Sometimes called gender neutrois, gender neutral, or genderless. ally /“al-lie”/ – noun : a (typically straight and/or cisgender) person who supports and respects members of the LGBTQ community. We consider people to be active allies who take action on in support and respect.
androgyny/ous /“an-jrah-jun-ee”; “an-jrah-jun-uss”/ – adj. : 1 a gender expression that has elements of both masculinity and femininity; 2 occasionally used in place of “intersex” to describe a person with both female and male anatomy. androsexual / androphilic – adj. : being primarily sexually, romantically and/or emotionally attracted to some men, males, and/or masculinity. aromantic – adj. : experiencing little or no romantic attraction to others and/or has a lack of interest in romantic relationships/behavior. Aromanticism exists on a continuum from people who experience no romantic attraction or have any desire for romantic activities, to those who experience low levels, or romantic attraction only under specific conditions, and many of these different places on the continuum have their own identity labels (see demiromantic). Sometimes abbreviated to “aro” (pronounced like “arrow”). asexual – adj. : experiencing little or no sexual attraction to others and/or a lack of interest in sexual relationships/behavior. Asexuality exists on a continuum from people who experience no sexual attraction or have any desire for sex, to those who experience low levels, or sexual attraction only under specific conditions, and many of these different places on the continuum have their own identity labels (see demisexual). Sometimes abbreviated to “ace.”
bigender – adj. : a person who fluctuates between traditionally “woman” and “man” gender-based behavior and identities, identifying with both genders (and sometimes a third gender). bicurious – adj. : a curiosity about having attraction to people of the same gender/sex (similar to questioning). biological sex – noun : a medical term used to refer to the chromosomal, hormonal and anatomical characteristics that are used to classify an individual as female or male or intersex. Often referred to as simply “sex,” “physical sex,” “anatomical sex,” or specifically as “sex assigned at birth.”
biphobia – noun : a range of negative attitudes (e.g., fear, anger, intolerance, invisibility, resentment, erasure, or discomfort) that one may have or express towards bisexual individuals. Biphobia can come from and be seen within the LGBTQ community as well as straight society. Biphobic – adj. : a word used to describe an individual who harbors some elements of this range of negative attitudes towards bisexual people.
bisexual – adj. : 1 a person who is emotionally, physically, and/or sexually attracted to males/men and females/women. 2 a person who is emotionally, physically, and/or sexually attracted to people of their gender and another gender . This attraction does not have to be equally split or indicate a level of interest that is the same across the genders or sexes an individual may be attracted to.
– noun & adj. a person who identifies themselves as masculine, whether it be physically, mentally or emotionally. ‘Butch’ is sometimes used as a derogatory term for lesbians, but is also be claimed as an affirmative identity label. cisgender /“siss-jendur”/ – adj. : a person whose gender identity and biological sex assigned at birth align (e.g., man and assigned male at birth). A simple way to think about it is if a person is not transgender, they are cisgender. The word cisgender can also be shortened to “cis.”
cissexism – noun : behavior that grants preferential treatment to cisgender people, reinforces the idea that being cisgender is somehow better or more “right” than being transgender, and/or makes other genders invisible. cisnormativity – noun : the assumption, in individuals or in institutions, that everyone is cisgender, and that cisgender identities are superior to trans* identities or people. Leads to invisibility of non-cisgender identities. closeted – adj. : an individual who is not open to themselves or others about their (queer) sexuality or gender identity. This may be by choice and/or for other reasons such as fear for one’s safety, peer or family rejection or disapproval and/or loss of housing, job, etc. Also known as being “in the closet.” When someone chooses to break this silence they “come out” of the closet. (See coming out) coming Out – 1 the process by which one accepts and/or comes to identify one’s own sexuality or gender identity (to “come out” to oneself). 2 The process by which one shares one’s sexuality or gender identity with others (to “come out” to friends, etc.).
constellation – noun : a way to describe the arrangement or structure of a polyamorous relationship. cross-dresser – noun : someone who wears clothes of another gender/sex. demiromantic – adj. : little or no capacity to experience romantic attraction until a strong sexual or emotional connection is formed with another individual, often within a sexual relationship. demisexual – adj. : little or no capacity to experience sexual attraction until a strong romantic or emotional connection is formed with another individual, often within a romantic relationship. down low – adj. : typically referring to men who identify as straight but who secretly have sex with men. Down low (or DL) originated in, and is most commonly used by communities of color. drag king – noun : someone who performs masculinity theatrically. drag queen – noun : someone who performs femininity theatrically. dyke – noun : referring to a masculine presenting lesbian. While often used derogatorily, it can is adopted affirmatively by many lesbians (both more masculine and more feminine presenting lesbians not necessarily masculine ones) as a positive self-identity term. emotional attraction – noun : a capacity that evokes the want to engage in romantic intimate behavior (e.g., sharing, confiding, trusting, interdepending), experienced in varying degrees (from little-to-none, to intense). Often conflated with sexual attraction, romantic attraction, and/or spiritual attraction. fag(got) – noun : derogatory term referring to a gay person, or someone perceived as queer. Occasionally used as an self-identifying affirming term by some gay men, at times in the shortened form ‘fag’. feminine-of-center; masculine-of-center – adj. : a word that indicates a range of terms of gender identity and gender presentation for folks who present, understand themselves, and/or relate to others in a more feminine/masculine way, but don’t necessarily identify as women/men. Feminine-of-center individuals may also identify as femme, submissive, transfeminine, etc.; masculine-of-center individuals may also often identify as butch, stud, aggressive, boi, transmasculine, etc. feminine-presenting; masculine-presenting – adj. : a way to describe someone who expresses gender in a more feminine/masculine way. Often confused with feminine-of-center/masculine-of-center, which generally include a focus on identity as well as expression. femme – (noun & adj) someone who identifies themselves as feminine, whether it be physically, mentally or emotionally. Often used to refer to a feminine-presenting queer woman. fluid(ity) – adj. : generally with another term attached, like gender-fluid or fluid-sexuality, fluid(ity) describes an identity that may change or shift over time between or within the mix of the options available (e.g., man and woman, bi and straight). FtM / F2M; MtF / M2F – abbreviation : female-to-male transgender or transsexual person; male-to-female transgender or transsexual person. gay – adj. : : : 1 individuals who are primarily emotionally, physically, and/or sexually attracted to members of the same sex and/or gender. More commonly used when referring to men who are attracted to other men, but can be applied to women as well. 2An umbrella term used to refer to the queer community as a whole, or as an individual identity label for anyone who does not identify as heterosexual.
gender binary – noun : the idea that there are only two genders and that every person is one of those two. gender expression – noun : the external display of one’s gender, through a combination of dress, demeanor, social behavior, and other factors, generally made sense of on scales of masculinity and femininity. Also referred to as “gender presentation.” gender fluid– adj. : : gender fluid is a gender identity best described as a dynamic mix of boy and girl. A person who is gender fluid may always feel like a mix of the two traditional genders, but may feel more man some days, and more woman other days. gender identity – noun : the internal perception of an one’s gender, and how they label themselves, based on how much they align or don’t align with what they understand their options for gender to be. Common identity labels include man, woman, genderqueer, trans, and more. Often confused with biological sex, or sex assigned at birth. gender neutrois – adj. : see agender. gender non-conforming – adj. : 1 a gender expression descriptor that indicates a non-traditional gender presentation (masculine woman or feminine man) 2 a gender identity label that indicates a person who identifies outside of the gender binary. Often abbreviated as “GNC.” gender normative / gender straight – adj. : someone whose gender presentation, whether by nature or by choice, aligns with society’s gender-based expectations. genderqueer – adj. : a gender identity label often used by people who do not identify with the binary of man/woman; or as an umbrella term for many gender non-conforming or non-binary identities (e.g., agender, bigender, genderfluid).
gender variant – adj. : someone who either by nature or by choice does not conform to gender-based expectations of society (e.g. transgender, transsexual, intersex, gender-queer, cross-dresser, etc). gynesexual / gynephilic /“guy-nuh-seks-shu-uhl”/ – adj. : being primarily sexually, romantically and/or emotionally attracted to some woman, females, and/or femininity. heteronormativity – noun : the assumption, in individuals or in institutions, that everyone is heterosexual (e.g. asking a woman if she has a boyfriend) and that heterosexuality is superior to all other sexualities. Leads to invisibility and stigmatizing of other sexualities. Heteronormativity also leads us to assume that only masculine men and feminine women are straight. hermaphrodite – noun : an outdated medical term previously used to refer to someone who was born with some combination of typically-male and typically-female sex characteristics. It’s considered stigmatizing and inaccurate. See intersex. heteronormativity – noun : the assumption, in individuals and/or in institutions, that everyone is heterosexual and that heterosexuality is superior to all other sexualities. Leads to invisibility and stigmatizing of other sexualities: when learning a woman is married, asking her what her husband’s name is.Heteronormativity also leads us to assume that only masculine men and feminine women are straight. heterosexism – noun : behavior that grants preferential treatment to heterosexual people, reinforces the idea that heterosexuality is somehow better or more “right” than queerness, and/or makes other sexualities invisible. heterosexual – adj. : a person primarily emotionally, physically, and/or sexually attracted to members of the opposite sex. Also known as straight. homophobia – noun : an umbrella term for a range of negative attitudes (e.g., fear, anger, intolerance, resentment, erasure, or discomfort) that one may have towards members of LGBTQ community. The term can also connote a fear, disgust, or dislike of being perceived as LGBTQ. Homophobic – adj. : a word used to describe an individual who harbors some elements of this range of negative attitudes towards gay people.
homosexual – adj. & noun : a person primarily emotionally, physically, and/or sexually attracted to members of the same sex/gender. This [medical] term is considered stigmatizing (particularly as a noun) due to its history as a category of mental illness, and is discouraged for common use (use gay or lesbian instead).
intersex – adj. : term for a combination of chromosomes, gonads, hormones, internal sex organs, and genitals that differs from the two expected patterns of male or female. Formerly known as hermaphrodite (or hermaphroditic), but these terms are now outdated and derogatory. lesbian – noun & adj. women who have the capacity to be attracted romantically, erotically, and/or emotionally to some other women. LGBTQ; GSM; DSG – abbreviations : shorthand or umbrella terms for all folks who have a non-normative (or queer) gender or sexuality, there are many different initialisms people prefer. LGBTQ is Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender and Queer and/or Questioning (sometimes people at a + at the end in an effort to be more inclusive); GSM is Gender and Sexual Minorities; DSG is Diverse Sexualities and Genders. Other options include the initialism GLBT or LGBT and the acronym QUILTBAG (Queer [or Questioning] Undecided Intersex Lesbian Trans* Bisexual Asexual [or Allied] and Gay [or Genderqueer]).
lipstick lesbian – noun : Usually refers to a lesbian with a feminine gender expression. Can be used in a positive or a derogatory way. Is sometimes also used to refer to a lesbian who is assumed to be (or passes for) straight. metrosexual – adj. : a man with a strong aesthetic sense who spends more time, energy, or money on his appearance and grooming than is considered gender normative. MSM / WSW – abbreviations : men who have sex with men or women who have sex with women, to distinguish sexual behaviors from sexual identities: because a man is straight, it doesn’t mean he’s not having sex with men. Often used in the field of HIV/Aids education, prevention, and treatment. Mx. / “mix” or “schwa” / – an honorific (e.g. Mr., Ms., Mrs., etc.) that is gender neutral. It is often the option of choice for folks who do not identify within the gender binary: Mx. Smith is a great teacher. outing – verb : involuntary or unwanted disclosure of another person’s sexual orientation, gender identity, or intersex status. pansexual – adj. : a person who experiences sexual, romantic, physical, and/or spiritual attraction for members of all gender identities/expressions. Often shortened to “pan.” passing – adj. & verb : 1 trans* people being accepted as, or able to “pass for,” a member of their self-identified gender identity (regardless of sex assigned at birth) without being identified as trans*. 2 An LGB/queer individual who is believed to be or perceived as straight.
PGPs – abbreviation : preferred gender pronouns. Often used during introductions, becoming more common in educational institutions. Many suggest removing the “preferred,” because it indicates flexibility and/or the power for the speaker to decide which pronouns to use for someone else. polyamory / polyamorous – noun, adj. refers to the practice of, desire to, or orientation towards having ethically, honest, and consensual non-monogamous relationships (i.e. relationships that may include multiple partners). This may include open relationships, polyfidelity (which involves more than two people being in romantic and/or sexual relationships which is not open to additional partners), amongst many other set-ups. queer – adj. : used as an umbrella term to describe individuals who don’t identify as straight. Also used to describe people who have a non-normative gender identity, or as a political affiliation. Due to its historical use as a derogatory term, it is not embraced or used by all members of the LGBTQ community. The term “queer” can often be use interchangeably with LGBTQ (e.g., “queer folks” instead of “LGBTQ folks”).
QPOC / QTPOC – abbreviation : initialisms that stand for queer people of color and queer and/or trans people of color. romantic attraction – noun : a capacity that evokes the want to engage in romantic intimate behavior (e.g., dating, relationships, marriage), experienced in varying degrees (from little-to-none, to intense). Often conflated with sexual attraction, emotional attraction, and/or spiritual attraction. same gender loving (SGL) – adj. : sometimes used by some members of the African-American or Black community to express an non-straight sexual orientation without relying on terms and symbols of European descent. sex assigned at birth (SAAB) – abbreviation : a phrase used to intentionally recognize a person’s assigned sex (not gender identity). Sometimes called “designated sex at birth” (DSAB) or “sex coercively assigned at birth” (SCAB), or specifically used as “assigned male at birth” (AMAB) or “assigned female at birth” (AFAB): Jenny was assigned male at birth, but identifies as a woman. sexual attraction – noun : a capacity that evokes the want to engage in physical intimate behavior (e.g., kissing, touching, intercourse), experienced in varying degrees (from little-to-none, to intense). Often conflated with romantic attraction, emotional attraction, and/or spiritual attraction. sexual orientation – noun : the type of sexual, romantic, emotional/spiritual attraction one has the capacity to feel for some others, generally labeled based on the gender relationship between the person and the people they are attracted to. Often confused with sexual preference. sexual preference – noun : the types of sexual intercourse, stimulation, and gratification one likes to receive and participate in. Generally when this term is used, it is being mistakenly interchanged with “sexual orientation,” creating an illusion that one has a choice (or “preference”) in who they are attracted to. sex reassignment surgery (SRS) – noun : used by some medical professionals to refer to a group of surgical options that alter a person’s biological sex. “Gender confirmation surgery” is considered by many to be a more affirming term. In most cases, one or multiple surgeries are required to achieve legal recognition of gender variance. Some refer to different surgical procedures as “top” surgery and “bottom” surgery to discuss what type of surgery they are having without having to be more explicit. skoliosexual – adj. : being primarily sexually, romantically and/or emotionally attracted to some genderqueer, transgender, transsexual, and/or non-binary people. spiritual attraction – noun : a capacity that evokes the want to engage in intimate behavior based on one’s experience with, interpretation of, or belief in the supernatural (e.g., religious teachings, messages from a deity), experienced in varying degrees (from little-to-none, to intense). Often conflated with sexual attraction, romantic attraction, and/or emotional attraction. stealth – adj. : a trans person who is not “out” as trans, and is perceived by others as cisgender. straight – adj. : a person primarily emotionally, physically, and/or sexually attracted to people who are not their same sex/gender. A more colloquial term for the word heterosexual. stud – noun : most commonly used to indicate a Black/African-American and/or Latina masculine lesbian/queer woman. Also known as ‘butch’ or ‘aggressive’. third gender – noun : for a person who does not identify with either man or woman, but identifies with another gender. This gender category is used by societies that recognise three or more genders, both contemporary and historic, and is also a conceptual term meaning different things to different people who use it, as a way to move beyond the gender binary. top surgery – noun : this term refers to surgery for the construction of a male-type chest or breast augmentation for a female-type chest. trans* – adj. : An umbrella term covering a range of identities that transgress socially defined gender norms. Trans with an asterisk is often used in written forms (not spoken) to indicate that you are referring to the larger group nature of the term, and specifically including non-binary identities, as well as transgender men (transmen) and transgender women (trans women). transgender – adj. : A person who lives as a member of a gender other than that assigned at birth based on anatomical sex.
transman; transwoman – noun : An identity label sometimes adopted by female-to-male transgender people or transsexuals to signify that they are men while still affirming their history as assigned female sex at birth. (sometimes referred to as transguy) 2Identity - label sometimes adopted by male-to-female transsexuals or transgender people to signify that they are women while still affirming their history as assigned male sex at birth. transphobia – noun : the fear of, discrimination against, or hatred of trans* people, the trans* community, or gender ambiguity. Transphobia can be seen within the queer community, as well as in general society. Transphobia is often manifested in violent and deadly means. While the exact numbers and percentages aren’t incredibly solid on this, it’s safe to say that trans* people are far more likely than their cisgender peers (including LGB people) to be the victims of violent crimes and murder. Transphobic – adj. : a word used to describe an individual who harbors some elements of this range of negative attitudes, thoughts, intents, towards trans* people. transsexual – noun and adj. a person who identifies psychologically as a gender/sex other than the one to which they were assigned at birth. Transsexuals often wish to transform their bodies hormonally and surgically to match their inner sense of gender/sex. transvestite – noun : a person who dresses as the binary opposite gender expression (“cross-dresses”) for any one of many reasons, including relaxation, fun, and sexual gratification (often called a “cross-dresser,” and should not be confused with transsexual). two-spirit – noun : is an umbrella term traditionally used by Native American people to recognize individuals who possess qualities or fulfill roles of both genders. ze / zir / “zee”, “zerr” or “zeer”/ – alternate pronouns that are gender neutral and preferred by some trans* people. They replace “he” and “she” and “his” and “hers” respectively. Alternatively some people who are not comfortable/do not embrace he/she use the plural pronoun “they/their” as a gender neutral singular pronoun. Obviously, I didn't include them all. I'll be updating this list in the future. SEXUALITY:
Heterosexual- The attraction to a gender different from their own (commonly used to describe someone who is gender binary [female or male] attracted to the other binary gender). Homosexual- The attraction to a gender the same as their own (commonly used to describe someone who is gender binary [female or male] attracted to the same binary gender). Sometimes referred to as gay. Lesbian- Women who are attracted only to other women Bisexual- When you are attracted to two or more genders. This term is generally used to describe being attracted to men and women, but can apply to being attracted to any two or more genders. Note that you do not have to be equally attracted to each gender. Pansexual- When you are attracted to all genders and/or do not concern gender when you are attracted towards someone Bicurious- People who are open to experiment with genders that are not only their own, but do not know if they are open to forming any sort of relationship with multiple genders. Polysexual- When you are attracted to many genders Monosexual- Being attracted to only one gender Allosexual- When you are not asexual (attracted to at least one gender) Androsexual- Being attracted to masculine gender presentation Gynosexual- Being attracted to feminine gender presentation Questioning- People who are debating their own sexuality/gender Asexual- Not experiencing sexual attraction (note that you can also be aromantic and you do not necessarily have to be asexual and aromantic at the same time). Sometimes the term, ace, is used to describe asexuals. Demisexual- When you only experience sexual attraction after forming a strong emotional bond first or a romantic bond Grey Asexual- When you only experience attraction rarely, on a very low scale, or only under certain circumstances Perioriented- When your sexual and romantic orientation targets the same gender (for example being heteromantic and heterosexual or being biromantic and bisexual) Varioriented- When your sexual and romantic orientations do not target the same set of genders (for example being heteromantic and bisexual or being homoromantic and pansexual) Heteronormative- The belief that hetersexuality is the norm and that sex, gender, sexuality, and gender roles all align Erasure- Ignoring the existence of genders and sexualities in the middle of the spectrum Cishet- Someone who is both cisgendered and heterosexual. This is sometimes used as a slur. Polyamorous- An umbrella term referring to people who have or are open to have consensually have relationships with multiple people at the same time Monoamorous- People who have or or open to have relationships with only one other person at a time. The term, monogamous, is also sometimes used. Queer- A reclaimed slur for anybody in the LGBT+ community or who do not identify as cisgender and/or hetersexual/heteromantic Ally- A supporter of the LGBT+ community that does not identify as LGBT+ GENDER: Sex- Your assigned gender at birth and/or the gender of your reproductive organs Gender- Where you feel that you personally fall on the spectrum between male and female. Commonly people identify as male or female, but some fall in the middle or move throughout the spectrum. Cisgender- When you identify with the gender you were assigned at birth Transgender- When you identify with a gender different than that you were assigned at birth. (This includes any gender that falls into the nonbinary spectrum of gender. I'm not going to include all genders at the moment, but I will add them in the future!) Transsexual- When you have had Gender Reassignment Surgery (GRS) to change the sexual organs you were born with to that of a different gender. |
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